The Snapdragon has bloomed. Team Solo Mid is out for blood, and the NA scene is full of hemophiliacs. The League of Legends sea will run red with the blood of our enemies.
Snapdragon so fearsome... And beautiful
I can already tell many of you are cowering in fear. I can also already tell many of you are saying:
"TSM is lazy!"
"TSM are just a bunch of frat guys with a reality show and no drive to be the best."
"TSM is full of a bunch of baddies who couldn't tell a poke comp if a Nidalee spear flew into their butt."
"Crs, CLG, and Dig are gonna poop all over TSM and they wont even be relevant by mid-season."
To all this, I just have one thing to say.
+ Show Spoiler +
Let me count the ways so that TSM fanboys and the vast amount of TSM converts I create with this post can laugh at your naiveté.
1) TSM TSM TSM!
2) FK IT. Baylife.
3) They have been on the winner's podium at IEM, MLG, IPL, and even the NA Season 2 Regionals. No other League of Legends team can say they have won an IEM, MLG, IPL, AND Riot event.
4) Over the course of 2012 TSM accumulated $209,200 in tournament winnings.
CLG? $129,400. Weak sauce.
Dig? $119,900. Paltry.
Crs? $47,300. HA! My 3rd world African students scoff at that pocket change.
Where TSM lives, all day, erryday.
"But it's a new season! TSM just isn't the same!"
You are right generic TSM hater/naysayer. It is a new season and TSM isn't the same. They're better. And let me fill you in on why:
+ Show Spoiler [Chaox] +
Why am I so underrated!
The AD Carry: Shan "Chaox" Huang
The man is an AD powerhouse. He consistently has one of the highest CS on TSM and usually has the most kills and best KDA ratio. The best part? He is SEVERLY underrated by almost everyone, including players and fans alike. When people think about TSM they think about shutting down Regi and Dyrus. More often than not people forget about Chaox until it's too late and he is racking up triples, quads, and pentas like it's an everyday occurrence. During pre-season 3 he managed to get to the #1 rank on soloq with his main and #2 rank on soloq with his smurf. Chaox is an AD to be feared and his excellent and quiet farming coupled with his positioning and team fighting ability will help propel TSM to the top.
Although he has been kicked off TSM, we will never forget how he helped TSM to their glory and there will always be a special place in our hearts for you Chaox. GLHF and we look forward to seeing you to spread the baylife to China!
#1 Smile NA
The AD Carry: Jason "WildTurtle" Tran
Wait. WildTurtle? I thought Chaox was the AD Carry for TSM?? Not anymore.
+ Show Spoiler [What happened to Chaox!?] +
...And then gets kicked off.
But no worries, WildTurtle is an amazing player with an amazing smile! Since he joined TSM, they finished the LCS Spring season with a 12-2 streak and a securing of the 1st place in the playoffs, a spot in the Summer Season, and the clear favorites of NA. Don't be fooled by his charming demeanor and exuberant smile - WildTurtle is exactly what you think he is:
Hell. In his FIRST LCS game of all time, he scored a pentakill. The first one of the NA LCS! He was also nominated as the NA LCS MVP during his first week of play. If that doesn't scream BAYLIFE, I don't know what does.
Now that I figured out the meaning of life... How do we beat CJ-Blaze?
The Support: Alex "Xpecial" Chu
Behind FDR, there was Eleanor. Behind Chaox and TSM, there is Xpecial. Maybe one of the smartest and best League of Legends players out there today, the quiet and talented Xpecial silently carries TSM. He supports like a baws, making Chaox look like a god, and TheOddOne's bottom ganks look like a bronze player could pull them off. He has been know to lane against Regi and beat him. He destroyed Dyrus in three straight games at Top. Xpecial makes plays without anyone even noticing him. He even plays for TSM AND the opposing team when he wants, just for the LOLZ.
+ Show Spoiler +
The quiet hamster runs in his wheel constantly and tirelessly with little to no recognition. Xpecial is one of the best supports in NA, if not the world - watch him lift TSM onto his back to the Season 3 Championships.
What if I burn down OTHER teams' houses instead of ours... Huehuehue
Top Lane Terror: Marcus "Dyrus" Hill
Dyrus is one the most famous members on TSM. A League of Legends veteran, when he isn't trying to burn down the TSM house Dyrus laughs at the competition whether he is trolling with Singed or pioneering champions such as Jax and Vlad. Gaming is in his blood for Christ sakes as his mom was rank 1 in Everquest for Enchanters. Don't let his nonchalant attitude fool you. Dyrus has been practicing hard and striving to improve. No top lane will be able to beat Dyrus and his beloved pillow.
Must prepare for battle... Against the yordles!!
The Jungle: Brian "TheOddOne" Wyllie
TheOddOne. OddBro. The General. Admiral OddOne. TheGodOne. Known by many names, and all of them feared. TheOddOne was one of the best junglers in Season 1 and he continues to be a top tier jungler to this day. Somewhat like Xspecial, a lot of TSM's victories come at the great game sense and plays of TheOddOne, but he is hardly recognized for it. His KDA is usually not impressive, but that's because he almost always gives his kills to Regi, Chaox, or Dyrus. His Maokai is constantly banned out as he not only popularized it, but is one of the best Mao's in the world. Look for TheOddOne to gank all day erryday as he jungles TSM to victory.
Mid Lane: Andy "Reginald" Dinh
The man. The myth. The legend. People love to hate him, and hate that they love him. Reginald is one of the most, if not the most, aggressive mid laners in the game today. His Leeeeeeeeeroy Jenkins playstyle has garnered him a lot of fans and a LOT of haterz. It has also given TSM many wins. Whether he is flash walling with Karthus, cleaning up mid lane with Ahri, or calling the shots in team fights - Reginald's leadership, aggressiveness, and shot calling is a staple to the TSM's squad as they faceroll their way to the Season 3 Championship. Oh. And just WAIT until someone lets him play Leblanc. Shit. Will. Get. REAL.
So TSM might lose a few games here and there. Who cares! They only have to be top 4 until Worlds when they crush the competition. Now is the time to experiment one game, and crush the next. CLG beat them? Looks like FOTM comp isn't that great, how about we use our better comp to make Vulcun look like the bottom tier NA team they are and Dig the overrated "Troika" team everyone sees them to be.
Once TSM is done with NA, they will move on to Worlds with a bag full of tricks, standard comps, and victory ensured strategies.
"But but but... TSM just can't stand up to the prowess of international teams."
HA! Just wait. Season 3 is for TSM. TSM is dedicated, persevering, and playing at 110% because This Season Matters.
CJ-Blaze? We ain't fazed.
CJ-Frost? Get lost.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren as I chant "TSM TSM TSM!" everytime WildTurtle gets a penta.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren as I scream "FK IT BAYLIFE!" everytime Reginald flash ults, making Leroy Jenkins cringe.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren as I raise my pillow up high to the sky everytime Dyrus tower dives top.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren as I silently praise Xpecial for being the best support in NA.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren as I salute The General when perfect ganks are executed time and time again.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren as we laugh at inferior teams such as:
And any other team that has the unfortunate experience of trying to beat TSM.
No one will stop us.
Join me now my TSM fanboy brethren and support TSM like you never have before because SEASON 3 IS OURS FOR THE TAKING!
NA LCS Spring Split Champions! +50K on the year boys.
Phase 1 complete.